She Smiles

Sister has been smiling at us since she was five weeks old. I'm just now getting around to catching it on camera. It's easy to make her smile, we just talk in a sing-song voice and she lights right up.

The first time she smiled at me it made me teary. Baby's smiles are just so pure and perfect and angelic. It's like getting a glimpse of heaven.

Love that girl.

Uncle Bill

After the boys have gone to bed, Scarlett likes to sit up with Daddy and watch O'Reilly...or "Uncle Bill" as Daddy would call him. It's always funny to see babies watch TV.

The next day I dressed her in one of the onesies I embellished.

Not on the mouth

Scarlett's New Year's day getup.

Edmond loves to kiss Scarlett. As he goes in for the kill, we always remind him, "Not on the mouth!" because she opens her mouth and tries to suck his lips. (See above photo) And I know Edmond hears us, and he understands, and he even tries to obey, but as his face draws near to her, it's like there's a magnetic force that pulls his lips to hers.

"Not on the mouth, Buddy."

"Dude, not on the mouth!"

By the way, I call my kids "Dude" all the time. I wonder if any of my Mom friends do the same or if I am just weird and stuck in high school.

This is her pensive face.

Later I was up in Sister's room and snapped some photos of the mobile with my new camera.

I hung her blessing day banner over her closet door.

Back to Life (or trying)

We went to the zoo with some friends...our first family outing since baby came. It's been so long since I've been out and about, and the sun was so bright that day, that I came home with a migraine. But it felt good to be outside.

I'm still in my new baby funk. I'm happy but a little overwhelmed and maybe I feel a little bit weighed down from staying home so much. And when I do go anywhere I have so many kids to literally drag with me, and all my junk and all their junk...I just feel a little bit constrained. But some days I can feel things getting better. I'm hoping I'll feel a little bit more carefree in the near future.

I remember in college I had a guy I was dating tell me, "You don't seem to worry about anything. Seriously, do you ever worry about money or school or...anything?" I remember feeling glad that he thought I was happy-go-lucky. Later, after my mission, a different guy told me, "Being with you makes me feel young again." That was one of the best compliments I've ever received. Anyway, I want to be that girl again. The girl who laughs and doesn't care. The girl who lives in the moment. The girl who has a vacation on the horizon. NOT the girl screaming at her kids in the Safeway parking lot. NOT the girl turning up the radio in the car to drown out the sound of crying children. NOT the girl threatening to send a certain three-year-old to his room if he doesn't stop whining.

I know what I need to to. I need to go for a run all alone. I'll run and with each step I'll shake off some of that baby fat. Especially the gushy stuff on my inner thighs. And I'll breathe hard. I'll breathe out all the inside house air that has been festering inside my lungs and replace it with fresh, crisp, clean outside air. I'll release all the negative energy and replace it with hopefulness. I'll rid my mind of all the worry and bad memories of being a bad Mommy and replace them with determination to do better next time.

Yeah, that's what I need to do. At least now I have a plan.

iphone photo dump

The boys in their matching shirts from Grammy.


Scarlett looks like an 80's aerobic instructor.

The boys playing with their Christmas toys.

Sister in her Christmas Eve onesie I made her.

In the Mother's lounge with Scarlett wearing her dainty booties and bracelet.

Edmond and Charlie with cousins Carly and Presley

New Year, New Bed

Charlie has a big boy bed. Now he and Edmond are in the same room. They love it. I can hear them talking to each other long after we've turned out the lights.



On the wall I put pictures of some of the boys favorite things: a fire truck, police car, and train. And also a picture of the LA temple, one of my favorite things.

A photo of fire hoses, a gift from Rebecca.

Edmond and Charlie's initials.

The glider I reupholstered:

The glider I reupholstered last spring.

Pictures of my baby boys: